emptiness..

he has gone hme finally for a short holiday after a yr havent seen his parents..happy for him..my rm is finally empty, with juz 2 of my luggage bags lying on d floor, memories are overwhelming me..happiness and sadness all happen in this rm..laundrobar, the staircase, the seats near the staircase, leave so much memories behind..everything juz started here, esp my strong memories with him..i simply miss him..even for 1 day, i miss him tat bad, my heartbeat is beating fast again juz cuz he isnt by my side..wat will happen when i nd to work in sg for 3 yrs, how am i suppose to ctrl myself..how to bear with it..how and how and endless how..i feel tat this trip back hme is toking all abt $..i nd to settle my rent, nd my mum to buy me an air tix back hme, nd to go for holiday, nd allowances to spend, nd $ when i come bck to perth, everything is all toking abt $..i juz simply wan to work and spend my own $, i feel so useless doing nth at hme, no income coming in..the kind of feeling is juz like sum1 who is waiting for ppl to provide $..my feeling for nw is super depressed, who can understand..i juz feel like being alone, i hate to tok to ppl abt how i feel, cuz no1 will understand.. i fear to go back, the moment i touch down tml, thr is lots of paperwork to be done and all cuz of the 3yrs bond..this is pathetic..who wants to be tied down, i wish to be like a bird who has the freedom to choose wherever they want to go to..im juz like a prisoner, i cant escape frm reality, the road in front of me is full of hurdles and burden..i haf difficulty walking, i might trip down anytime..but shd i be strong enough to handle this, i wish i could..all i needed is support and words of encouragement..