results..

results gonna out on nx tue..my fear for it..ppl consoling me, but im the one facing it..im juz too scared to face the truth..juz hope everything turns out well..i pray hard enough..i noe i juz haf to pray very very hard and hoping tat god u will hear my prayers..recently, im so addicted to starbucks and coffee bean coffee..my daily routine is to get a cup everyday and smoke 2 sticks of ciggs..toking abt smoking, haf been cutting down frm juz less than 10 sticks per day..this kinda feeling is so sucky..when i needed smoking, i haf to tolerate..lol..
my feelings for this wk: i feel like a restless, a lost person who dun even noe my direction..i feel as though im a plant who is going to wither soon..ppl say rotting and slacking life is the most enjoyable moment, but i feel so useless, so dead bored everyday..sitting down at the same corner watching tv, this kinda days....when will it going to end..am i suppose to gif myself a deadline b4 really entering into the workforce..Im like so missing him everyday, but nevertheless he is not by my side..i needed a shoulder to lean on and all i noe is i want to run to u asap, juz a simple hug is all tat i needed for nw..my fear is when he started getting bz with work and study, will he simply communicate less with me or will i be forgotten gradually..he assured me, but the fear is still thr..i miss him more than any words i can express..maybe i shd juz find a plc to escape and not stay at hme and think too much..