the no 9

the date 9th seems to be special to me this yr..i realise many things happen on the 9th..9th jan i went to perth and 9th feb i came back frm perth and 9th march i start my job..wat will happen again on the 9th..will it be a gd thing again..but for this yr i thank god for everything, for hearing my prayers everyday and every night..thank god for the blessings..

choices..

shd i choose to extend my stay in perth for couple of days, but den im getting sick and bored everyday, however, if i choose to go hme, he be all alone aft work..y do i always haf to think abt others feelings and tend to be soft-hearted when i think of the other party..that is the bad point of me, being soft-hearted and will gif in..but this time, im sure no matter if i stay for another few days, but den still i will need to go back and leave him behind again..is the same old thing again, somehow i really hate this kind of feeling..the feeling of leaving your loved ones behind and seeing him all alone with no family members behind..however im glad that he has his work to be getting him busy at all times, perhaps all he thinks is abt work since he has too much passion in it..

ended..

a brand new start of 2009, but it doesnt seems to turn out well for me..my working life span in the company has ended, and here i am stuck with full of emptiness..suddenly feel so lost, dun even noe what should i do now..finding jobs, yeah, but den the mistake that i have learnt from it makes me grow up to be stronger..the 1st mistake i have make 1) rush into the job that i know i dont like it, 2) gettting paid at a low income, 3) getting a work permit.. therefore i understand that for now, i need to sit down and slowly decide the kind of work i should be pursuing for, never waste the certification that i have study for.. marketing will be the next range of jobs i will be looking for, and i know that when you have passion for the job, you will work hard and stay longer..

alone..

when u needed some1 to tok to you, i just couldnt find 1 at all..is either busy doing stuff or haf this and tat..i rather not find any1 to tok at all..who would even understand me at all, i rather understand myself..problems r always faced by yourself, no1 can help at all..i really couldnt take it anymore, i wanted to explode sooner or ltr..who understands at all..Nobody..

sudden missing..

i suddenly miss timmy, how i wish he is now with me to face all my problems..i nd a hug frm him, i nd some1 to tok to me, however, he is working and i have to be all alone, thinking too much..dearest, missing u too much..

sudden rain..

suddenly rain in the nite at 9 plus, does this represent my feelings, crying out loud inside my heart..facing difficulties at work, hate this work to the core..just started work, however, a decision has been facing me, shd i ever gif up this job..shd i even start looking for a job..work permit, cuz im holding this, everything is so messy..facing lots of problems, feeling stress, no way to run away from reality..

work..

work doesnt seems to go smoothly for me..realising tat i dun seem to like my job at all, sales, tough job..when can i see figures,im getting worried everyday..it seems so tedious and stressful each day i go to work..i really dunno how long can i continue for this job..im dragging myself to work every day, im just so tired and panic..work does seem tougher than studying, nw i understand y many ppl say they prefer to study rather than work.. sumhow during the nites, i start to miss my rented apartment in perth, there use to be no stress but freedom..nobody to bother you at all, just me alone, freedom to do wat i want..at nite, at least, there is some1 to accompany me, however, nw back in jb, im all alone..mum always out, sis got her hubby and kid..however, im just all alone..go out also nowhere to go but rather stay at hme and rest..life, i really do not know the definition of it..dear, use to ask me what do i understand the meaning of life, but nevertheless, i know that i am speechless, i dont even know the answer..