controlling..

im trying very very hard not to get myself into trouble..i hope not to fall into any r/ns here..pls..is not the right time and neither do i want any commitments..but once feelings r thr, is tough to get rid..i haf to control and control..r/ns is juz a troublesome problem..but glad tat my ldr has ended, nth to worry abt nw..thanz god..cuz i haf alr move on and neither do i miss him anymore..sad to say tat..

week break..

presentations and mid sem exams r over and here comes the 1 week break starting from today onwards..3 projects on the go nw, and major big projects..the wk break is to concentrate on my individual assignment and hopefully to finish it off during this 1 wk..research and neverending research for this 3 projects..but for nw, im lacking of confidence and realising that i haf been pressurizing myself..worst of all, staring into the mirror, i haf eyebag and nvm pimples popping out on my forehead and this nv happens last yr..shit, not enough slp, am i not taking gd care of my face..juz watever..i guess this sem im committed wholeheartedly into my studies and no other distractions..no commitments into irrelevant areas..juz wanna finish everything peacefully and go bck hme..tat is all i pray for.. anyway,cheryl miss u loads, guess your finals r here soon, wish u all the best and do contact with me at times..

week 7..

i hate week 7 which is starting frm nx wk..2 exams and 2 presentations, 1 project due..everythins is juz gonna happen nx wk, it will be tough wk especially with the exams, will i be able to score, cuz is again mcqs..shit, no confident anyway.. even break is coming, im not looking forward at all, it be worst, 3 projects due on may and is the same week, not enough time man.. the main problem with projects is research and research, i hate it..shall haf to start during the break, so i will haf more time to prepare for exams, is better to be early than late.. anyway im so looking forward to seeing my nephew and guess my sis is having a hard time looking aft her son..is gonna be weird to c another family member, but the hse will be lively and noisy with baby crying..mum hasnt call me recently and sis din online, needed sum1 close to tok to me and i misses them..it seems to be a rountine for my slping hrs recently, is like 3 am to slp and 7.30am to wake up, not enough slp..and i feel so tired everyday..mugging with bks and prepare for presentations..anyway i haf no allowance to even think of anything else and get agitated at times with the bloody hell and i deleted him..is kinda irritating, he is an asshole..i hate u..u come and go as and when u like, when i try to forget u, u come bck again and make me feel so complicated..den u sudd disappear again, wat the hell..but is fine with me, cuz i noe my tolerance level has reach to the highest limit, is enough alr..u haf been totally erased..cuz u r the worst and idiotic person i haf ever met in my F whole life..to forgive and forget-is absolutely nonsensical..gers can be evil when u pissed her off, and tat is wat u did to me..dun make me lose my temper and do sumthing to u..retribution haf alr befall u and u haf alr receive it.. god noes wat bad deeds u did..womanizer..

simply depressed..

how to lead life here, wat i needed nw is my mum to be with me,i nd a companion to tok to me, to cheer me up..im struggling very hard, mugging on projects, presentations..and ass i nd to prepare for exams another 3 wks left..my heart has not improve regardless how much pills i haf consume..is getting worst.. i haf nv relaz at all even though im not working..i feel more tired, depressed, no happiness..i wan to go bck jb as soon as i finish, tolerate..be patient..
anyway, congrats to my sis, finally gave birth to a baby boy, yearning to c him so much, wonder how he looks like..oh and i haf no idea wat is his name, shd be shean?? muz be a cute little fellow, n i will dote on him alot, my 1st nephew..

2nd wk

is the 2nd wk of school and hell loads of projects this semester..gosh, i going to faint soon, lol..but nevertheless i will endure with this whole sem, i can do it man right..i will 1st taste the hardships and next the sweetness, praying hard for this sem, god bless me.. and also pls let me haf a regular heart beating, god, pls..is tiring to even hear my heart beat so fast and let me haf a peaceful slp every nite.. i admit i still miss him and it happens when im really down, is a habit, i noe tat..well, the good thing is my sis is giving birth soon in another few wks time, i hope she will take care of herself and im looking forward to my nephew..another family member in the family, i will open up my hands and smile at him: welcome sweety!!

comfort..

i love my mum, standing by my side, supporting me, finding ways to cure my heart pumputation, buying medicines for me, finding ways for me to slp well in the nite, juz in case i really rely out on slping pills..she sending parcels to me, with tea whr her frend mention to her some organic tea that allows her to slp well in the nite..i feel glad with all my frends ard me in perth, im also trying very hard to relaz myself, not to think so much most importantly.. i juz wan my heart to beat to the normal rate and not fast, it might take mths, a yr perhaps, but i will pray to god to help me when i needed him so..my life in perth revolves ard with classes, gym and studying in the nite aft gym..is not going to be a last minute work anymore, every1 has to change..and of cuz thanz to my buddy when i needed her so, juz a phone call and share all my happiness, sadness, gossiping..simply miss u ya..lol..the 1 who always read my blog, anyway, u noe who u r..lol..a big hug!!

depressed..

im depressed and all i needa is sum1 to tok to me..sum1 who is close to me..ass feeling..