october..

is already october..realising tat i havent been updating my blog recently, simply bz searching for jobs every single moment i haf..time is running fast, is coming to the end of the yr soon..i noe im simply going crazy, getting impatient, getting frustrated..support-no more support, i rely on myself..watever decisions i make, i juz simply decide on myself..yeah decisions always lie on my hands, watever i make, i cannot regret, cuz this is the route i haf make, nobody can be blame..want to blame, everything will be my fault..watever i haf done wrong, i can juz apologise, to me, apologise is already nth, i can gif up all my pride, i can say sorry all the time to frends, to ppl who r close to me, to my parents, to whoever..im no longer strong anymore, no longer positive, i dun nd ppl to console me, cuz im sick of the same sentences ppl who trying to provide advice to me..tears r common to me, crying every nite, in order to slp, worried, heartpain, watever, i juz cried..cuz im juz an emotional person..im going into the crazy world, i make sure tat i will accept any jobs that come along, money of cuz in this world everybody needed, i make sure i earn alot..no matter how tough the route i haf chosen, i will bear with it till the end, i will earn alot, i will provide watever i owe, i will provide a gd life, i will provide everything..i will make sure i make myself work very very hard, nv think abt anything, i will make sure my life revolve with more money, with everything tat i can provide..im already crazy enough, i dun even noe wat am i thinking, but since this is wat i chose, i will move on to the end..i will support and encourage myself, i really dunno wat am i doing..i really dunno..